I have been thinking about this topic for a long time. Especially since I am at an age where a lot of my friends are starting to get married and move on to the next stage of their lives. I can feel the pressure of people wanting me to catch up. It feels like one of those social phenomena where you feel like you are being left behind when you don’t comply with what everybody else is doing. And so, I decided to write a post about the benefits of living by myself. Because I believe a lot of good things happened to me since I ended my last involvement with someone.
I should mention first that it has been a while since I have been in a relationship (an unhappy relationship, that took its toll on me the longer it continued). Being single again opened up so many doors for me. And even though that time in my life is connected with a lot of old wounds and hurt, it was one of the most important lessons I have ever learned. It brought me to where I am now in life. It led me on my own personal path towards more happiness and I couldn’t be more thankful for the experience.
So, why is living alone making me happy?
What are the 8 advantages of being single?
You gain freedom
It is absolutely deliberating, especially when you come out of a relationship that didn’t suit who you really are. You get to be in charge of everything that you do. You can do what you want, where you want, whenever you want. It can be very relieving to not have a sense of responsibility for other people. You get to be in control. You have the freedom to take the helm and set the course to wherever the wind may take you.
You figure out what makes you happy
One of the things I learned is that once you stop making yourself and your happiness dependable on other people, you figure out who you truly are. If you don’t have to rely on someone other than yourself while you figure things out, you can solely focus on yourself. Sometimes we get so intertwined with what our partner expects from us, or projects on us, we condition ourselves to live solely for that other person, that we ultimately forget to live for ourselves. We forget what we are absolutely passionate about. We lose sight of what truly makes us unique.
But how can we make other people happy, if we can’t even make ourselves happy?
You learn to trust yourself more
Being single gives us an opportunity to connect with ourselves. Our intuition and inner voices can be heard again. We learn to follow our hearts and our own calling because there is nobody else who can tell us where to go next, or which way to choose from here on out.
I learned to trust in who I am. All the second-guessing and questioning of my choices finally came to an end.
That said, I do think it is incredibly important to not lose that side of yourself while being in a relationship. In my experience, all successful relationships are built upon the stability and the individualism of its separate parts.
It’s a journey of self-realization and self-discovery
Being single gives you more time to spend on things that are important to you. And just you. You learn how to treat yourself right, how to create a you that is feeling content and is satisfied with what you are doing. You figure out what you want. What you want in your future, what you want in a relationship, how you want to lead your life. By discovering how you tick inside, you will learn to accept yourself with all your weaknesses and shortcomings. And you will gain the confidence to own them because you will have lived with them and had to deal with them accordingly. This will ultimately make you a better candidate for a lasting and confident relationship in the future.
You appreciate other people more
Humans are pack animals. We like to hang out in groups and be social. Even though, it can be very relieving to just be alone with your thoughts and feelings for a while, at some point the need to interact with other beings of the same race will drive us to go out and enjoy ourselves in our social circle. Living alone makes us appreciate and value those people even more. It is the opposite to our life at home. Which is why being socially active stands out more so than when we live with a companion. Friends and the people we socially interact with take up a bigger space in our lives (which is only natural without a partner). We have the time and the willingness to invest in them more being single than when we were being distracted by our relationship.
It will give you a fresh start
If you ever wanted to change your life or the way you’ve been living. Now would be the perfect time to do it. You are not responsible for anyone else. This is an opportunity to make a fresh start. To experience things, to grow, and flourish. Go on that trip you always wanted to go on. Move to that city that always appealed to you. Travel. Re-decorate. Go on an adventure. See the world. Meet new people. Start a new chapter of your life!
You will find your creativity
Living alone, you have enough room in your life to find whatever floats your boat. What is your creative outlet? It can be anything: photography, painting, sewing, writing, dancing, making jewelry, sports, whatever gets your creative juices flowing. Go for it!
Being creative can be very helpful in finding out what you are passionate about, and therefore, helps you figuring out what makes you happy.
It will ultimately boost your confidence
You start to realize that you are a person on your own that can survive. You learn to do things by yourself and in doing so, you increase your self-confidence tremendously. My personal experience is that being by myself gave me my self-worth back. I felt worthy again. I learned to feel good about myself again. First of all, nobody should ever be able to take that away from you (my mistake). If everything, your partner should support you in becoming a better version of yourself by boosting your confidence and appreciating who you are. But most importantly, you enjoy being an individual again. All the connections you form, all the steps you take, all the changes you make in your life while living alone, start to become a mirror of who you have become. Someone you can be proud of!
The perks of living alone and being single are absolutely essential in growing on a personal level. It will definitely give you tons of experiences that can help you feel comfortable with being who you are. You fear less what other people think about you because at the end of the day, you are creating every single day as you want it to be. You learn to be by yourself, which also means that you have to endure yourself at your lowest points. Ultimately though, that is exactly what will help you grow your personality. You get to be the master of your universe. You get to choose.
However, you also have a choice in saying when it is time to move on from that particular stage in life. I know that in today’s individual-focused world, a lot of people decide to live alone far longer than they need to be. And I know myself that after being alone for so long it actually takes a whole lot of courage to take that leap into a relationship again. You become so reliant on yourself that it can be difficult to live with another person again. Your comfort-zone has changed.
But that’s just it. You are in a comfort-zone again. So, it might just be the perfect challenge to try to get out of it by entering a new stage of life again. Maybe now could be a good time to not HAVE to be living alone? Why not see it as a challenge to push yourself to the next level? It might just be the next lesson in life waiting for you. That definitely gives me something to think about.
What are your experiences being single? Are you enjoying all its advantages or are you maybe finding more disadvantages being on your own? I am interested in hearing your thoughts on that.
Until then, be kind to yourself and treat yourself to a good life!